Viewing this teen revenge fantasy makes one yearn for John Hughes’ comedies like “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “Pretty in Pink,” “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club.”

The titular John Tucker (Jesse Metcalfe) is a hunky high school jock, the big varsity man on campus. Problem is: this lothario is juggling three women. While dating the head cheerleader Heather (singer Ashanti), he’s also courting militant vegan flower child Beth (Sophia Bush) and ambitious reporter Carrie (Arielle Kebbel). When his victims – who belong to different cliques - discover his deception one day in detention, they recruit shy newbie Kate (Brittany Snow) to become a vixen and date this “statue wrapped in a painting in a frame made of muscles,” then heartlessly dump him.

Inevitably and predictably, their contrived campaign backfires. When they sneak his photo into an ad campaign for herpes, he wins a public-service award. When they spike his protein powder with estrogen, he suddenly can’t handle trash-talk and begins to explore his feelings like “a real man.”

Working from “Sports Night” writer Jeff Lowell’s sketchy script, director Betty Thomas’s twentysomething cast is clearly ‘way beyond high school. While Brittany Snow seems ready to make the leap from TV’s “Nip/Tuck,” moving into Meg Ryan territory, casting 33 year-old Jenny McCarthy as her trampy single mom seems a stretch. Was she 13 when she gave birth? And 28 year-old Jesse Metcalf is best viewed as Eva Longoria’s shirtless boy toy on “Desperate Housewives.”

On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “John Tucker Must Die” is a tarty yet tepid 4. Wanna see revenge? Rent feisty fare like “Mean Girls” or “Heathers.” Don’t waste your allowance or baby-sitting money on this drivel.